Gay Marriage Can Actually Srengthen American Family Values and Straight Marriage.

Though I tend to have good gut instincts, I have terrible quick judgments. Some of my best friends are people who, at first impression, I thought I would not like. So I’ve had to have frank discussions with myself when snap judgments cloud my view. One of those discussions took place many years ago that is relevant to the idea of gay marriage.

We belonged to a rather progressive Conservative Synagogue that had several very active Lesbian members. One Shabbat a soon-to-be-married straight couple was being honored at the bema where they were given a blessing and the congregation tossed candy to signify a sweet life up at them. My children were pre-teens and I wondered to myself how I would feel if the congregation agreed to do something similar for a gay couple. My immediate reaction was that I would not be happy. I had to ask myself why. I didn’t believe that homosexuality was wrong, just a different lifestyle due to their inner sexual preference. I decided that I would feel uncomfortable seeing the kind of loving looks and affection the young couple in front of me was showing right now.

This was the 1990s and seeing gay couples acting like couples in public was still rare and those who did were usually overly in everyone’s face, probably to make a point, just as our generation did when trying to advocate for free love in the 60s. However, I had to ask myself something, ‘Why did my feeling uncomfortable trump the rights of others?’  I concluded to myself that if the congregation should choose to honor gay relationships, then I would deal with my feelings and not let it affect another couple’s happiness.

As time has passed and media and everyday exposure to more committed gay couples has been the norm, I no longer feel uncomfortable about celebrating commitment and/or marriage between same sex couples. In fact I embrace the idea that we need more committed relationships between consisting adults no matter what form it takes.

You may ask me how this strengthens straight marriages and family values. Think about it, when people commit to a relationship with someone, everything changes. Value is placed on supporting each other, making a home together and eventually starting a family. They change how they spend their time, money and their priorities. More family (and pet) friendly options are needed, more financial support for issues affecting family life and more thoughtful decisions are made by voters and people seem to make more responsible decisions in their public and private lives. Churches, Synagogues and other places of worship grow in numbers, more money is spent locally which grows our economy and neighborhoods abound in the laughter of children, bringing out a sense of community. All these things are good for America and for stable families, both gay and straight.

Even if you are bound by your religious believes to see homosexuality as sinful, as you also might view those who follow other religions or non-believers, you might want to accept that allowing marriage equality will benefit your family in that there will be more emphasis on values geared towards strong adult relationships, child centered communities and, possibly less proliferation of other sinful acts, more commonly agreed upon as wrong by mankind as a whole: crime, dishonesty, child abuse, hate, disrespect for others, meanness, etc.